November 10, 2013

Twenty Three Hours and Counting

by thebirdieflies

I don’t mean to boast or anything, but it has so far been 23 hours without food or water.

Had some bet with a friend. He did 24. I’m going to do 32.

Signs of dehydration – headache for the past 5-6 hours, dry lips, coated tongue and tiredness

I’m not technically thirsty, but I know that if I put water in my mouth, I’m probably going to end up drinking it.

Just need to hold out for a wee bit more. \m/

Oh, and this has already broken my personal record – I’ve never before done any fast, or refrained from eating when I felt like it. 🙂

September 11, 2013

Work for Money or Love?

by thebirdieflies

I had this conversation with A the other day, about choosing work that you enjoyed doing. To me, going for a job just for the money, but one that doesn’t interest you, is being a sell-out. But in A’s opinion, jobs are meant for earning money so it would be silly to not take that into account.

Another opinion I’ve heard in the past is that careers are but a small part of your life, and should not dictate how you live. So it is completely okay to work your ass off for a job you dislike. Just you know, do other things that interest you too. So you need not make everything you enjoy into a career. That makes sense too.

One way of looking at it is working not just for yourselves, but for others. If you enjoy your work, you’re more productive, and hence you’re producing a much higher output than you might have otherwise. In the end, our lives are not solitary, and the work we do is one stitch in the larger fabric of society. But to what extent would you consider this when choosing a career? Would you work for money or love? Why?

August 27, 2013

It Has Been a While

by thebirdieflies

It really has, hasn’t it? I even forgot what to type into my browser today, when I decided at last to tell my blog readers that I am indeed alive and kicking.

A lot has happened in the past three, four, five, months.

My on again, off again relationship with A has finally stabilized to an ‘off’ state. And I found a way to be okay with that.

I have more or less decided on what I want to do with life. I have decided that perhaps pursuing a PhD is really what I want to do, apart from trekking and photography and baking.  Towards that end, I gave the GRE and did pretty well by most standards. But, maybe it’s not time for a PhD right now, maybe after a few years, once I’m certain that I can produce some original research.

I made a new set of incredible friends, and somehow fell in love with them. That also made me resolve to try hard to make my other friendships stronger.

I lost one of my grandmothers. I still haven’t come to terms with the fact that I will never see her again. I don’t know how to.

I stayed in a new city for two months, and fell in love with it. I’m back home now, but memories of the amazing times I had there will stay with me forever.

I don’t know if I will be blogging regularly. I am trying to cut out crap from my life, such as extended periods of Facebooking, in order to make time for more meaningful things. It will be my last year in college, and I want to spend it such that when I go away, I will miss the place. I realized recently that missing a place, or people doesn’t mean that you lost something – it means that you lost something that, for a while, made your life really amazing. It is better to love wildly and lose a part of you and hurt badly, than to move through life without feeling anything, neither hurt, nor pure happiness.

April 14, 2013

by thebirdieflies

I read a blog-friend’s post on depression two days back.

He came out about his depression on his blog quite recently, but his last post kind of shook me.

Long story short, I’m beginning to feel like I might have depressive tendencies too. Trust me, it’s not hypochondria. I asked A about it and he verified it too. He said he thought the same when he read the post.

The trouble is, I’m almost absolutely certain that I’m not a full-blown depressive, I just have similar tendencies. But I will have to keep trying to outsmart my brain which will only be happy to accept it as an excuse to give up when things go downhill.

:S

April 8, 2013

Confrontations

by thebirdieflies

I dislike confrontations. I’m not good at them.

Either I will become really defensive, or I will become really offensive.

Diplomacy doesn’t come easy to me.

Recently my applications for an internship at two places got selected. One is at an educational institute, and another is in the industry. One provides accommodation and a better stipend and the other doesn’t.

Doesn’t take much to guess which is which, but I’ll make it easier: The educational institute won’t provide me accommodation and will pay me a measly stipend.

So I had a “confrontation” with dad about going there. He ended up yelling at me over the phone that he dislikes that option entirely, that he dislikes that I will go somewhere without any support whatsoever neither monetary, nor infrastructural. Valid points for a parent, yes. But just because so far I’ve always stayed in the same city that I grew up in doesn’t mean I will always, and someday or the other, sooner or later, he will have to face this situation again. Of course, this confrontation has, since then, been making me feel sick in the pit of my stomach.

I thought I would at least be congratulated for getting through at a well known, well respected institute, but all I’ve met with is disapproval.

I’ll stop with the self pity for now and go do something useful.

March 29, 2013

Of Problems With Parents

by thebirdieflies

I don’t have an easy relationship with my parents.

For one, I feel like I’m always being judged.
For two, I feel like dad doesn’t want to listen to anyone but himself.

Sometimes I feel guilty for thinking this way about him.
I want to be able to forget and move on.
I know that I’ve not yet succeeded in having a mature conversation about this (not even with myself).
I quite frequently find myself being bitter about it.

That means
I find it difficult to talk to my parents
And, I find myself generally being bitter, and emo around them.

I don’t know what to do.

March 29, 2013

Looking Back

by thebirdieflies

Dear Future Me

Someday you are going to look back at some part of your life and regret not having dome something.
Not having punched that guy in his face.
Not having taken time out to travel when you still could.
Not having kept at playing the guitar.
Not having made the most of the opportunities that were presented to you.

The way I see it right now, there are two things you can do about it:
1. Don’t give yourself more reasons for regret.
2. Wherever you wish you had only known better, give someone else that advantage of knowing better.

Just make sure you don’t overdo #2 to the point that people think you’re annoying, and that the advice you give is actually unwanted.

Cheers!

Present Me

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February 6, 2013

I Learnt

by thebirdieflies

In a play area full of cardboard box at a recent book fair, I learnt something about myself – I Really don’t like destroying.

I don’t like breaking down cardboard box forts, even though they can be rebuilt.

I don’t like throwing away the chocolate wrapper collection that I have long since given up on.

I don’t like letting go of books that I no longer read.

I don’t like throwing away old letters, photographs, notebooks with stories and essays I’d written as a kid, school projects, SMSes.

 

I broke apart a ‘rival’ cardboard fort eventually, but I didn’t enjoy it One bit. It felt like tearing down someone’s hard work.

January 10, 2013

Christmas cards

by thebirdieflies

It has been nearly a month since I posted a Christmas card to Drunken Archer. However, it seems like she may not have received it 😦

I put in a fair amount of work into this card, and I wouldn’t like for her to not even get to see how it looked, so tada! There you go –

A Christmas Card for Taiwo

I hope you like in. It became slightly messy, but the tree is a nice one, innit? 😀

January 8, 2013

Mon Anniversaire

by thebirdieflies

My birthday wasn’t as awesome as I had hoped it would be.

It started off on the wrong foot. My friend reminded me that I would be receiving a lot of phone calls at midnight, and my first instinct was dread. I dreaded the awkward phone calls from friends who aren’t exactly friends. With whom I don’t talk much. At least not on phone.

I dreaded conversations with little content, and fake enthusiasm.
“Hello?”
“Heeeeey!”
“Happy birthday!”
“Thaaaanks!”
“Okay bye.”
“Byyye!”

I got quite a few of those.

The rest of the day followed in these footsteps.

I don’t usually give a lot of importance to birthdays. Why did I have to this time?