Archive for ‘personal philosophy’

May 4, 2014

Regrets

by thebirdieflies

Dear Future Me

I was reading a thread on Quora about common regrets that people have in their 30’s, 40’s, 50’s.

For posterity’s sake, I’ll reproduce them here:

Answers below mention (in no particular order):

  • Not Having Children.
  • Not Getting Married Early Enough.
  • Getting married too soon.
  • Being Lazy In Your Twenties.
  • Getting Involved In Community Service/Politics Earlier.
  • Not Taking Health Advice Seriously.
  • Not Having Enough Fun (or Sex).
  • Not Being Ambitious Enough.
  • Losing Contact With Old Friends
  • Not Traveling.
  • Not Taking Risks.
  • Not Spending Time With Loved Ones.
  • Not living true to yourself
  • Not expressing your feelings courageously
  • Not allowing yourself to be happy
  • Working too hard.
  • Not quitting your bad job/relationship early enough
  • Not asking more girls out
  • settling for the wrong person
  • thinking you have all the answers.
  • Not doing better in school
  • Not marrying rich/well
  • Not Renewing A Library Card to Read more.
  • Signing up for facebook, E-harmony etc
  • Not standing up to bullies while younger.
  • Not Regretting Early Enough
  • Regretting.
  • Not telling people that are gone that you love them.
  • Time wasted on deleting unwanted emails.
  • Not investing wisely.
  • Choosing the easier route.
  • Nothing.
  • Ignoring Mental Health issues (self-medicating)

Apparently, “regretting” also makes the list. Too much time spent regretting past actions. Or not regretting early enough to take corrective actions.

I don’t think life is possible without some regrets. It’s just not possible that you are always satisfied with whatever you do. So when you do have regrets, don’t be too hard on yourself.

Why does life have to be so complicated? A thousand variables, a thousand ways to go wrong/regret, yet, you can never guarantee happiness/success by fixing each of them.

Perhaps life is complicated only because we make it complicated.

There is no time line for regrets, marriage, investing, traveling, studying, reading. No single “right time” for x, y or z.

You do what you do when it makes sense for you.

No one else’s list, advice or experience can prepare you for life. Make your own list, advice and experiences. And don’t regret too much.

Love,

Present Me

January 1, 2014

Yet Another Year Goes By

by thebirdieflies

I’m not one for new year resolutions, but when I saw photos from my yoga days, I decided I have got to start doing it again.

The last year has been full of ups and downs – meeting lots of new people, going to new places, finally deciding what I will do in life,  breaking up with A, losing a grandmother, but to end it all, coming to the marvelous conclusion that my life is what I make of it, and resolving to take more time out to do what I like doing best – exploring, discovering, learning.

I’ve been to more new places (1. the new city where I interned at, 2. the Tibetan settlement, 3. the two hilly, misty, foggy places, 4. the place where I went to for the sports tournament) the last year than any other year ever, and I hope that I can continue to trump the number every successive year from now on!

After a while, you come to realize that you’re only 22 (almost!), and you can still do tons of awesome, potentially embarrassing things (like crashing formal dinners meant for professors and sleeping on the classroom floor) without having to feel even the slightest bit embarrassed about any of it! You can get lost and find the way (and yourself) again, you can be completely clueless and land up in a city where you don’t speak the language, you can go driving without a destination in mind – things which make memories, epic memories.

I sound so high on life, haha.

I’ll end this post with a photo from one of the places I went to this December:

DSCN2691

And wish all of you a kick-ass new year!

October 3, 2012

Shaken

by thebirdieflies

After thinking over the title of the post a few times, the letters stopped making sense so now I’m no longer sure if  ‘shaken’ is really a word. My instinct says yes, it is. But my brain can only see it is as s-h-a-k-e-n which is not a word, it’s a chain of letters which sounds like kraken (to my brain). Gah.

I’m shaken, in case you were wondering.

One of my basic building blocks of personal philosophy has crumbled to dust and I’m having a hard time trying to make sense of the world without it.

I am usually a very happy person.

I used to believe, that, if you don’t have expectations, you aren’t disappointed. That is true, of course.
That kept my expectations from spiraling out of control. If you don’t expect to get a good grade, you’ll be happy with an average one.
If you’re okay with your friends not calling you up all the time, you won’t get mad at them if they don’t.
If you don’t expect your boyfriend to make you a card for you on your birthday, you’ll be actually pleasantly surprised by his scrawls on a piece of scrap paper.

Except that it didn’t really happen. I would be happy enough with an average grade, but not if I knew that I could’ve done better. I was NOT okay with my friends forgetting about me and moving on. I was especially mad at the crap birthday card. But as long as this philosophy existed, one side of my brain perpetually tried to convince the other that my friends had a life of their own, that I was probably not interesting to them anymore, that I knew R doesn’t like to make birthday cards but he still did make something. Etc.

Over the last two years, I’ve come to terms with a newer philosophy – that of wanting.
I was told by someone that it is okay to want stuff.
That it is okay to want something you might not be able to get.
That you shouldn’t just want and want, you should work towards it too.

It is something I did anyway, in places. But it was never part of the big picture. There was always the other side of my brain that would try to convince me that I should appreciate what I have.

I do appreciate what I have, but if we don’t want something better, we will never get to a better place. On the other hand, if we keep wanting more and more, we might keep forgetting to live in the present. How does that make sense? Is there a threshold value for wanting? Are there things which are simply not acceptable, things which we simply can’t live with?

I mean, of course there are. If you’re getting raped, you can’t just stop trying to break free even if you know that it is useless. If you’re in a situation where your basic rights are being ignored, you can’t just accept it and say ‘Well, it could have been worse’, but what about the situations in the middle? What about feeling mad at your friend and you don’t want to bring it up because it might not result in anything and might make him mad and ruin your friendship?

I have got to interrupt this and go, I have two exams tomorrow that require studying.
But I intend to come back and write more. 😀

May 22, 2012

My Food Philosophy

by thebirdieflies

I don’t have much of a food philosophy.

But I believe in one’s right to choose between vegetarian and non-vegetarian and I absolutely hate people who try to make me feel bad about that, or say stuff to me regarding what choice I make. The most logical reason for preferring non-vegetarian food, that I often use in such arguments is, even when you’re eating vegetarian food, you’re killing something. You’re killing the plants. I just don’t make a distinction between animals or plants. I mean, if that’s your logic. Whatever suits you, suits you. This suits me, I like to eat it, it’s not exactly very unhealthy (red meat is, so I eat that rarely) and it’s part of my diet 🙂
I’m not a very adventurous non-vegetarian. I don’t like fish, I eat pork and red meat rarely, and I’m not particularly fond of seafood except for crab and shrimp.

I’m pre-disposed to eat healthy. I don’t like greasy, fatty food. I can’t have much spicy food either.
Working within these parameters and eating home-cooked food regularly means that I’m pretty much free to eat anything.

My body’s also extremely kind to me in the sense that it doesn’t tolerate anything for too long. I can’t eat a lot of Anything in one go. I might have an intense craving for something in particular, but it dies down after eating a bit of it. There was one point of time when I was drinking fizzy sugary drinks with each meal. After a while, it started feeling strange. My teeth would feel like they were rotting, I’d feel full of the fizz and just like that, I stopped it, cold turkey, before it got the better of me. It’s not like I don’t drink fizzy sugary drinks any more. I just don’t drink them Everyday.

I used to be dependent on packaged foods some years back, living on soups made of soup powder and 2-minute noodles. Recently, I’ve stopped that too. I stopped that, because I no longer felt like eating it. I wanted fresh soup, freshly cooked noodles. Nothing out of a packet, nothing that takes less than 10 minutes to make. I think my body naturally knows when I’ve eaten too much of nothing good at all. Omniscient and all. 😛

Sometimes I feel I take my body for granted. I’ve always been proud of my immune system, and my system of eating. There’s almost nothing that I prevent myself from eating if I really really feel like eating it. That might seem like a very idea to many people, but you know, well, this food philosophy of mine serves me well 🙂

Just one thing I feel strongly about: Don’t give me shit about my food habits. I don’t need it. I can’t stand any of that crap about non-vegetarians being murderers or that I eat too little (because I don’t; I only eat as much as I can so maybe I’ve a tiny appetite but you telling me this won’t really change it, now will it?).

Love
Present Me

May 8, 2012

Protected: Questions to my Future Self

by thebirdieflies

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February 8, 2012

I wonder

by thebirdieflies

Future Me,

I wonder, have you

  • broken any bones?
  • got stitches?
  • got chicken pox?

Cuz, you know, I haven’t still. I hope you didn’t get any of those.
Especially not chicken pox. Ugh.
This might seem to be too strong an attachment to something as materialistic as your body and your looks, but I hope you never get any lasting damage.
And this might seem too vain, but I’d rather die than be disfigured or left handicapped.

Come on man, you only get one body.
And everyone should love theirs be happy with it (as long as they’re healthy).
It’s your body, man. It’s never ugly.

Love
Past Me

January 1, 2012

Happy New Year!

by thebirdieflies

Dear Future Me

So, are you still alive? Did the world end 11 months and 21 days from now, or is it still rolling around in the vast darkness of space?
What happened exactly? Did the world implode or did everyone just turn to dust one fine day?

To be honest, I want the world to end.
And to be even more honest, I don’t think it will.
I just don’t believe in it.
But there are two sides of the coin to that:
1. If you believe the world will end someday in the near future, then the struggle to make the world a better place to live in will be abandoned, and everyone will run about on the streets like drunken hooligans. There will be no more point in looking at the big picture, or in planning ahead.
2. If you believe the world will end someday in the near future, you will live the way you want to live, you will not live the way you are forced to live. You will really, really live, and when your life ends, you will die without any regrets. Even if the world doesn’t end, we will all die someday and no one really knows how soon that will be.

It’s been almost a day now, since the year has begun.
I don’t have any new year resolutions. I don’t understand why certain days in the year are given so much importance for no reason. 1st January for example. What’s special about that? Some guy decided it should mark the beginning of a new year, but it doesn’t have to mean a fresh start for us. A fresh start could be when you finally move on after a broken relationship; it can be when you shift to a new country and start your life afresh; it could be marked by the end of, say, your school years; it can be when you join a new job, or when you look for a new career stream. Those are more meaningful units for measuring the different periods our life anyway.

It could be a brand new haircut! And starting a new semester in college. And kinda dreading the reactions to said haircut.

That’s how you looked, once upon a time, when you decided to try a new hairstyle.

Love
Past Me

December 13, 2011

Loony Lunar Ramblings

by thebirdieflies

Dear Future Me

Once upon a time, you joined this astronomy group in your city and stayed up the whole night watching a lunar eclipse. You saw how the moon was covered slowly and slowly by a brownish shadow, and how, when it was almost entirely covered, the moon was still visible, but it appeared red.

You then went for a walk at 5 am that morning with A, in search of some food.

Had you known at that time that you would fall in love with him? You knew that a walk of more than 2 kms lay ahead of you, that you had a growling stomach, that the roads were dark, lonely and not altogether very safe. You walked and you walked and you never realised any of that, because you were with him. Were you conscious of how safe and loved he always made you feel, even though you were nothing more than friends at that time?

Now, when I see the moon at night, when I see it in its full glory, all white, opalescent and big, I am reminded of how tiny we are. The moon is held up in space with nothing but a force field of gravity. We are held up with nothing more than the same. The moon is so huge, that it’s beyond comprehension. Entire human cities would fit in one of those little spots of gray.

Space is so beautiful. There’s no air, there’s no noise, there’s nobody. Light is nothing but immense heat and night is nothing but freezing to death quicker than you can say space. Human problems like poverty, corruption, love, betrayal, terrorism, none of it means anything there. If nature means surviving, then space means existing, for time periods So long, that we cannot measure them in our lifespans.

Space is beautiful.

You are too. Remember that. Your lifespan is but a little blip in time. Don’t waste any of it being depressed.

Love,

Past Me