Archive for ‘Kittens’

January 2, 2013

Twenty One

by thebirdieflies

I’m about to officially be in my twenties. Not at the boundary anymore. They seem like a frightful period.

You are supposed to get things going in your twenties! You need to know what’s your career going to be, you need to finish college, you need to set the foundation for the rest of your life.

You might even *shh* marry.

I know nothing about any of it, and I suddenly feel like I’m being forced to grow up. Once I do my Masters, my career kind of gets fixed. There is usually not much room to change direction, unless you start your own business.

Some of my plans for my twenties are:

1. My own house!
2. Get a job!
3. Finish college.
4. Earn and save up and take at least One awesome trip to many countries in the world.
5. Buy a dSLR camera, finally. And an amazing zoom lens, and a prime lens.
6. Have a pet. Maybe a kitten.
7. Continue to stay in touch with friends and family.

Twenties are so talked about. You do a lot of experimentation then, you make lots of mistakes and learn from them, it’s almost like the period of time reserved for you to go wild before settling down into your thirties. Thirties seem comparatively more sedate, and mature.

I don’t know how my twenties will go for me. My teens were Not the way I would have liked for them to be.

I want to keep A with me in my twenties, that’s not something I can deny anymore. The question is, will I make bad choices because I so badly want to keep him with me?

Is it a good idea to want something so long-lasting right now? When everything is so transient. Nobody knows where we will end up for post-grad. Maybe in different countries. I am being so stupid, but denial doesn’t do anyone any good, and accepting the above has only given me permission to daydream more about it. Bleh.

In the meantime, here’s me, on Christmas. With a slightly wonky smile. Hi, y’all. 🙂

Hi, y'all!

 

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October 5, 2012

It’s Done

by thebirdieflies

It’s over between me and A.

I haven’t even been able to talk to anyone about it.
That’s partly why I’m blogging about it. Hah.

The reason might seem kind of lame, it sure does to me, but it had to be done nevertheless.
It just doesn’t seem right to me, in my head, to think that we’re done for good.
Not only because I allowed myself to believe everything he said, but also because well, just that.
I didn’t think it was possible that someone who promised to always be patient with me would start snapping at me for no reason.

I need patience, okay? Don’t judge me.
I feel very stupid and lame and uninteresting and I’m generally a little miserable and I’m not the best person to date, but he KNEW that and he said he’ll hang in there with me DESPITE everything. Except he refused to use the word ‘despite’, he said there’s nothing about me he doesn’t like.

Stuff’s messed up.

In my head, outside my head, everywhere.

I always get these bouts of hating myself. And A hadn’t been helping lately. Maybe I became too demanding, too high-maintenance, too whiny. I don’t know, I’m going to be like this for a while now, so you don’t have to tell me that I’m a lovely person, shouldn’t hate myself etc. I know I’m a lovely person, but I’m not feeling it right now, so I’m going to go ahead and hate myself. Boo.

I want soft, fluffy kittens and I want to bury my face in them and hug them and take care of them and talk to them.
No people for me right now.
I’m going to sleep.

P.S. I participated in a half marathon last weekend. I finished it in 3 hours 7 minutes. Weather was terrible, preparation was insufficient, and I was only aiming to complete it.

December 11, 2011

Something I have, Something I want

by thebirdieflies

I want a pouffy wouffy little kitty.

I have this Awesome pair of earrings. :’)

Winter has finally come to my city. It’s still not as cold as I would expect it to be, but okay, we’re getting there.

October 29, 2011

Of Doing Things

by thebirdieflies

Dear Future Me

I decided that I should leave you some sort of a list. Later, it will be so much fun to tick things off them. Or to see how much our priorities have changed?

1. Have a cat of your own! It entails having your own house to live in.
2. I hope it is a good house. At least, a house that you are happy in.
3. Travel, travel, travel. Once upon a time, you had decided to save up madly for a year or two, then blow up everything on a mad trip to everywhere, then begin afresh on the career scene. I don’t know how feasible you think this is now, but I would like to think you still have a touch of your optimism and spontaneity left in you.
4. Buy yourself that dSLR, that I’m still saving up money for. Nearly got 1/3rd of the cost now.
5. Be a photographer. Maybe not a full-time professional photographer. Maybe just a freelancer. Or maybe just a hobbyist, who photographs when she finds time.
6. Please still be taking time out for yourself. Bake some new stuff. I learnt a few neat things this summer, I hope you have built upon those skills.
7. Learn a new language. Even if it is but broken.
8. Learn to dance. Just a little bit.
9. Do something fantastic and crazy. Skydive, or bungee-jump. Learn to surf.

I can’t think of other stuff. I am sure there are many more. I have a lot that I expect out of you.

Love,
Past Me

September 25, 2011

Hello there, random reader.

by thebirdieflies

This is my blog.

I am 19 as of now.
I like taking photos.
I am small. Five feet, four-ish inches and 53 kilograms.
I have shoulder length hair. I would like to get bright purple highlights.
I like travelling and long journeys. I also like driving, but I don’t like traffic jams very much.
I am a lazy person.
I want a little kitty. Persian, preferably.
I like hugs very much.

Tomorrow, I shall write more.