Archive for April, 2013

April 14, 2013

by thebirdieflies

I read a blog-friend’s post on depression two days back.

He came out about his depression on his blog quite recently, but his last post kind of shook me.

Long story short, I’m beginning to feel like I might have depressive tendencies too. Trust me, it’s not hypochondria. I asked A about it and he verified it too. He said he thought the same when he read the post.

The trouble is, I’m almost absolutely certain that I’m not a full-blown depressive, I just have similar tendencies. But I will have to keep trying to outsmart my brain which will only be happy to accept it as an excuse to give up when things go downhill.


April 8, 2013


by thebirdieflies

I dislike confrontations. I’m not good at them.

Either I will become really defensive, or I will become really offensive.

Diplomacy doesn’t come easy to me.

Recently my applications for an internship at two places got selected. One is at an educational institute, and another is in the industry. One provides accommodation and a better stipend and the other doesn’t.

Doesn’t take much to guess which is which, but I’ll make it easier: The educational institute won’t provide me accommodation and will pay me a measly stipend.

So I had a “confrontation” with dad about going there. He ended up yelling at me over the phone that he dislikes that option entirely, that he dislikes that I will go somewhere without any support whatsoever neither monetary, nor infrastructural. Valid points for a parent, yes. But just because so far I’ve always stayed in the same city that I grew up in doesn’t mean I will always, and someday or the other, sooner or later, he will have to face this situation again. Of course, this confrontation has, since then, been making me feel sick in the pit of my stomach.

I thought I would at least be congratulated for getting through at a well known, well respected institute, but all I’ve met with is disapproval.

I’ll stop with the self pity for now and go do something useful.