A Bad Day

by thebirdieflies

I was shouted at, by ‘A’ today.
I picked up his call and he shouted at me.

I hadn’t really been behaving myself. I think he even told me to ‘fuck off’ today, but I wasn’t sure I heard him properly, because he just walked off after that.

I wasn’t being nasty, you know? But I wasn’t being nice either. And I think everything just came to a head and A had to call me and shout at me.

I was shaken. A little. A bit.
Quite badly.

I apologized to him for setting him off, and he apologized to me for shouting at me.
In fact, he sorted the whole maybe-‘fuck off’-maybe-not out when he was extremely nice to me while stomach cramps slowly ate me alive from inside.
He brought me hot soup, he held the takeaway box of soup in the car because it was too full for me to hold while I ate out of it, he ran up and got me a painkiller from the college First Aid box. He was good to me. He totally made up for the maybe-‘fuck you’-maybe-not.
And then he called up and shouted at me!

Two days back, we discussed breaking up just to get some time away from each other.
He said he has changed (and so have I). He said he’s afraid he was awesome before we started dating only because he was trying to get me to like him. He said he’s afraid he’s slowly taking me for granted.

Two days back, I realized I probably don’t love him. Despite everything I’ve ever said to anyone.
It was a sad realization.
Today’s events make me wonder where we stand.
On one hand, he takes good care of me. On the other, he shouts at me when I’m least expecting it and alarms me badly.
On one hand, he loves me (or so he says). On the other, I don’t.

Advertisements

4 Comments to “A Bad Day”

  1. oh… sounds so sad. reminds me of my break up about 2 months ago. i did the shouting. and we arent friends anymore. you guys have something if not anything, you can count on him to help out when you need him that’s awesome. 🙂

  2. But it’s not that awesome any more!
    The last time I hung out with him, I wasn’t blabbering away like I used to do earlier; I played games on my phone.
    And that is sad.

    Things have changed a lot.

  3. Sounds like you need to start fresh! Sayonara, A. 🙂

    • I think things will always sway from good to bad to good. I was in the bad part when I wrote that post. Now I’m in the good part. It’s not easy to say sayonara to someone who you know is probably the best boyfriend you can ever have. :/

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: