About A Boy

by thebirdieflies

Dear Future Me

Have I told you about A?
He is the most beautiful boy I know right now.
I don’t know if I love him, sometimes I think I do, but sometimes I’m not sure.
He is huge, he is more than 6 inches taller than me and he makes me feel so little and insignificant.
He says he loves me for being so little because he feels protective of me.
I like him being huge because he may be very strong and tall and able to sort out everyone, he is still a little vulnerable boy who needs me and misses me.

He has a big head full of big dark curls.
I love running my hands through his mop of curls, and inhaling his smell and feeling his heart beat when I put my head on his chest.

He has big brown eyes, and when he looks at me with his face so close to mine, I can almost look into his soul. The honesty in his eyes is disarming. It is as if he is laying himself bare in front of me because he trusts me so much, allowing me to look inside him.

He has huge hands and I keep teasing him about them, calling them his paws.
But when he holds me with those hands, I feel safe. Like nothing in the world can go wrong when I am with him.
It frightens me a little.
Why do I adore him so much?
And why do I feel guilty?

I want to hold him right now. I don’t want to think about the workload, the assignments that are due, the exams that are drawing nearer and the nearly 40-50 kms that lie between me and him. I want to hold him tight and inhale his smell and kiss him lightly all over until I drift off to sleep, listening to his slightly sped up heartbeat.

Love,
Past Me

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